Sunday, June 7, 2009

hexter's literary adventures

my master/cat hexter rules the roost here, shrieking about the trough being empty, and giving all my guests the stink eye. to get my own back against him, i have a variety of nicknames i use to coddle and humiliate him, including hexter the molester, sonny dew melon, fatsy cline, nino, and tio chico (i have no idea why i decided to call him by the name of a long dead great-uncle that i've never met but it works for us).

today he was having a nice lounge on the new couch that was purchased for human sitting, not cat lounging. it looked like this:

so i forgot he existed for a while. the two of us tend to live in happy parallel oblivion when he is not shrieking. but then, as i was sitting on the couch, basking in my blanket dress, wondering what book to read next, i noticed that my cat was making new strides in animal literacy. please see exhibit b:

an interesting choice for his first book. hexter's sat on plenty of other writing before: he particularly loves short stories for sitting on, and his gut is such that 8 1/2 x 11 sheets of paper disappear entirely underneath his mighty frame capped by small head. i guess it is in keeping with his snarly nature that he chose the warriors by sol yurick as his first book. he's certainly sat beside me as i watched the film a gazillion times. he was equally as captivated by the young james remar's turn as ajax, the assiest asshole in the warriors, and his frantic battle with a park bench and mercedes ruehl. he was equally as alarmed by the director's cut as i was (perhaps because i kept yelling at the TV -- "what are you doing to the baseball furies?!! you are RUINING the baseball furies!!!") and yet, i can see he's flipped through the pages (witness the bent-up corner) and decided he likes what he sees. then i asked him what he thought of it because i haven't read it yet. big mistake:

he is disdainful of my interest. perhaps he is mad he cannot get into the richard brautigan below his book of choice. but it is obvious he has had enough of me, and my nosey questions. he goes back to doing what he does quietest (not best, i've already mentioned that above).

cats can't read. but if they did i know they would be very upset about lol catz. it's just not dignified, and they put up with a lot from us already. :)


  1. Your cat seems to be the same size as my cat. Large and lazy. I wonder how He would like Brautigan. i think Brautigan would like the idea of a cat reading him.

  2. I especially like his crazy cat eyes in the second pic!

  3. i am not sure if these photos show how gargantuan hexter actually is but i suspect he would like rabelais with his cod piecs, and eating and coining of gargantuan.. not sure how he'd feel about brautigan. he's quite a long cat too, so he takes up a lot of space on the couch but he seems to have come to terms with the fact that he no longer has access to the bedroom, so i am willing to cut him a little living room slack as a result. i have difficulty scooping him up these days.

    kerry, i'm impressed that's as crazy as his eyes got. they used to glow like he was in village of the damned every time i took a photo of him. i love him but i am pretty sure he is EVIL. :)

  4. They may not be able to read, but they can would seem that Blogspot does not like links, but if you go to Amazon and search on "Why Cats Paint" it's quite amusing...

    I used to have a cat that sat on any newspaper article I was trying to read in an open attack on my current events awareness.

  5. hey shel: interesting about the link. i'm not sure if it's my settings or what. i did copy one into a comment on dan's blog yesterday but it's not live, now that i look at it.

    i do think it's darling the way they sit on anything you are paying attention to more than them. forget current events lady, he was saying, just focus on me! i'm the important one around here. cats are the epitome of selfish beings. :)

    the lore re: cat painting is pretty funny. however these all look like cats who are willing to sit up which my cat does not do unless there is a trough in front of him. :)

  6. i've just added a widget for js-kit for enriched comments. what do you think of it?